Mario Andretti, Mick Fleetwood and Joe Montana are just as few of the celebrities who have attached their names either to wineries or wine labels. Now, two of the presumed frontrunners in the 2016 United States Presidential election, Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton, are following suit with their own labels, featuring specific bottlings aimed at attracting the votes of specific demographic groups.
Later today, Bush will attend a media conference at which Jeb’s Jugs will be introduced. The wines will be offered in 1,500-ml. bottles (often referred to as jugs) and will be priced so as to be affordable to low-income households — always a challenging demographic for Republican candidates.
“If we can get lower-income voters drinking more, perhaps we’ll be able to convince them to vote Republican in 2016,” said a spokesperson for the Bush campaign.
Wines in the Jeb’s Jugs line will be made from grapes grown in vineyards owned by large corporations and harvested mechanically. Keeping the target audience in mind, the wines will have fun names that salute family members, including Wouldn’t Be Prudent Primitivo, Mission Accomplished Alicante, and Don’t Mess With Momma Merlot.
Although no official announcement on the Hilary Clinton wine project has been made, Clinton herself has been dropping hints during recent speaking engagements.
“Isn’t it about time we had a wine made by a woman President?” she proffered on Sunday.
An appearance on Monday included this observation: “I sure do miss the good wine we used to have during my husband’s administration.”
While Clinton’s public proclamations thus far have only hinted at an impending wine project, documents obtained by journalists are far more specific.
One suggests that all of the wines must be made from grapes grown in vineyards that are sustainably farmed and “with complete respect for the environment.” Vineyards that receive government subsidies also would be preferred.
Another document outlines possible wine types and their target audiences, accompanied by rough sketches for possible labels. Among the wines being considered:
- Fat Cat Cabernet Sauvignon. Target demographic: rich Republicans who make wine-buying decisions based more on price than quality. Theory: Purchasers may have discretionary income to contribute to the campaign, thus ensuring that they have backed the eventual winner, no matter who it turns out to be.
- Blue Dress Dolcetto. Target demographic: scorned women. An addendum to the wine and label description suggests that full-case purchases could be promoted by offering a free bottle of stain remover.
Official announcements on their new wine ventures are expected from the Bush and Clinton campaigns soon.